Mamas To Be

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Natural birth control will change your life

The word natural gets thrown around a lot these days. Natural asparagus. Natural deodorant. Natural emotional reaction….

Basically when something is natural it means that us humans haven’t tampered with it too much. The way that thing is, wasn’t decided by a human being, it just exists naturally that way.

The female reproductive system is a natural part of the female body. Meaning, it exists (most often) naturally as part of the body and it’s health contributes to a woman’s* overall health.

Just like when your skin breaks out in a rash and you know something is wrong, having an irregular cycle or not ovulating naturally can be symptomatic of a larger health issue.

Now, yes, the female fertility cycle (as I like to call it) is pretty much all about ovulation and trying to get you pregnant. That being said, it also deals with really important hormones in your body that actually help regulate a bunch stuff– not just baby making stuff.

“Osteoporosis, heart disease, and breast cancer are all somewhat prevented with a normal balance of estrogen and progesterone, which occurs when you are ovulating regularly.” – Dr. Alyssa Quimby, M.D., from verilymag.com

When I finally put together that my cycle is integral to my overall health as a female human being, I felt embarrassed. Because I hardly remembered anything from my sex ed class in high school, and realized I actually had very little knowledge of the mechanics of my own body.

Many women are in a similar position right now.

Here’s what happens:

We become sexually active, maybe in high school, maybe in college, maybe with one regular partner, or maybe with many different partners.

Suddenly, we need to be responsible for our sexual health and fertility in a big way.

So what’s the easiest, most responsible thing to do?

Go on the pill!

At least that’s what I did, encouraged by friends and doctors at the university.

“It will regulate your period and you won’t get pregnant!” People say. “No real dangerous side effects,” I was told, “and definitely not to your fertility.”

But the pill doesn’t regulate your period, it eliminates it, suppressing the ovulation process and inducing a sort of pseudo-menopausal state.

Lot’s of people still get pregnant while taking the pill, mainly because just like any contraceptive that involves a daily thing you have to do, it’s subject to human error.

And there are most definitely some potential negative side effects!

Stretch marks on your breasts, serious fertility issues that could go unnoticed for years, hormonal imbalances that could contribute to depression, anxiety and general not-okay-ness… these are all potential side effects of taking the pill regularly.

I’m off the pill now and have practiced natural birth control for a few years.

I’ve noticed there is another, more subtle, negative side effect that doesn’t get spoken of much– laziness and lack of self-knowledge.

Remember that big, intense responsibility for their sexual health that women face when they become sexually active?

Well when a young lady is told all they need to do is remember to take a pill each day, or use a condom each time, that encourages self-ignorance that continues later into adulthood.

This is what we get from the “…you will get pregnant, and die.” style of sexual education in schools.

I believe when women know more about their bodies, and make the management of their body’s overall health an integral part of their lifestyle, we will all be much happier.

Imagine a world where instead of desperately wondering if you are going crazy and lashing out on loved ones, you actually know when you are about to PMS (can warn people) and ease the monthly hormonal transition with herbal teas, and self-care.

Imagine a relationship where your partner knows where you are at in your cycle and can adjust how to approach you sexually according to where you’re at…. fertile/ not fertile, insatiably horny/ achy and sore…

Wouldn’t that be great?

These are some of the great payoffs from practicing natural birth control.

I have become more aware of myself– and less surprised, worried and concerned about my body’s functioning. Plus it set a high bar for a partner that I could trust enough to join the cause.

Going off the pill can actually foster greater trust and intimacy in our close relationships, including with ourselves.

Check out my upcoming blog post about the different ways of managing your fertility using natural birth control, and join me for a fun and casual meet-up this summer to learn more!

*(I don’t really want to get into a conversation about gender and sex here, so let me just say that while I may use “woman” and “female” interchangeably on occasion, I do understand that not all women are females… and who am I to say that’s not natural.)

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What does “savvy” mean anyway?

We use a lot of words. When we talk to each other, to children, to ourselves.

I wanted to use the first blog post to talk about why I chose to describe Mamas To Be as “savvy women who want to get healthy right now…. and have babies one day.” (This was my original tagline).

Both the noun and the verb came into use around 1785. “Savvy” is based on the Portuguese term sabe, meaning “he knows,” which itself is from Latin sapere, meaning “to be wise.”

The general definition of savvy is “shrewdness and practical knowledge; the ability to make good judgments.” Basically it’s practical intelligence, which I believe we all have.

Now read the following which is complete plagiarism from the lovely Marriam-Webster:

Did You Know?

You may be familiar with the noun savvy, meaning “practical know-how” (as in “he has political savvy”), and the adjective use (as in “a savvy investor”).

And if you’ve seen the blockbuster movie Pirates of the Caribbean, you also know that the verb is often used as an informal, one-word question meaning “Do you understand?” (as in “I’m Captain Jack Sparrow. Savvy?”).

But Jack Sparrow (i.e., Johnny Depp) didn’t invent the term. Both the noun and the verb came into use around 1785. “Savvy” is based on the Portuguese term sabe, meaning “he knows,” which itself is from Latin sapere, meaning “to be wise.”

Creole speakers interpreted the Portuguese term as “sabi” and began using it as one would “know.” Eventually, the Creole’s “sabi” evolved into savvy.

The West Indies origin of this word is also said to come from the French, “Savez(-vous)?” which means, “Do you (all) know?” So it’s like a question and directive all wrapped up into one.

I find this so fascinating. A small reminder that everything we do or say has a foundation in what came before, that our actions and words are steeped in history, old ways of knowing and believing about the world.

I also believe “to be wise” is pretty much the most important thing in life. That’s why I created this resource for women and do my work around birthing and bodies, to do my best to share and spread wisdom.

As I saw on a T-shirt once: “The main thing is to keep the main thing… the main thing!”

How to Prevent Pregnancy “Naturally”

young_love_is_better_with_responsible_sex

Natural Birth Control, otherwise known as fertility awareness, refers to ways of preventing pregnancy, without the use of synthetic hormones or an IUD.

I’m not talking about being aware of your overall fertility level here! I’m talking about how we as ovulating females can actually tell when we are fertile & when we are not fertile throughout our monthly cycle.

I’m talking about how we can use different Natural Birth Control Methods to avoid pregnancy, or to facilitate conception.

FACTS:

Natural birth control methods are alternatives to hormonal contraception (the pill, the shot, the ring, etc.) and copper IUDs.

Natural birth control at its best, specifically the Fertility Awareness Method, prevents pregnancy at about the same rate as regular condom use (about 90-95%).

Natural birth control methods do NOT prevent any form of STDs.

Where to start?

I offer FREE workshops (please contact me if interested), where we go over the basic physiology of the female reproductive system, then talk about the pros and cons of pretty much all the birth control options available for female women to choose between.

Be honest with yourself, do you know the ins and outs of the physical functioning of your reproductive system? Do you know the difference between the natural hormones our body produces and synthetic hormones?

A lot of people want to go off the pill and don’t know where to start, or have just been practicing withdrawal or condoms and want to find more peace of mind by actually knowing when their fertile time starts and stops.

Yes, that’s right, the fertile time stops. There are several days in every cycle when you 100 per cent cannot get pregnant.

You do not have to wait and wish and be super on edge before every period! (It’s okay though, we’ve all been there).

Ovulating females are actually only fertile for a short window in each menstrual cycle. There are about 8 days out of each cycle where you have to abstain from sex or use a barrier method in order to avoid getting pregnant!

Wait what??

That’s 6 days of sperm being able to stay alive inside the female body (pretty impressive), plus two days to be sure you’re past ovulation.

Ovulation occurs over a 24 hour window and stimulates hormonal changes in your body that make you unable to conceive after it’s finished.

What are the benefits of Natural Birth Control?

Natural birth control methods help you identify where you’re at in your fertility cycle (menstrual cycle, moon.. call it what you wish!) so that you can know how careful you need to be when it comes to sexual intercourse in terms of avoiding pregnancy.

You can use an app on your phone (this a version of The Calendar Method) to track your period, but there is a lot more understanding to be had about what’s going on in your body with just a little extra effort of observing physical symptoms.

Beyond not getting pregnant though, there are other significant benefits to practicing natural birth control methods such as the fertility awareness method.

I believe using a natural birth control method will change your life, and ultimately help garner greater trust and intimacy in your close relationships… including with yourself.

Plus you avoid all the harmful (and inadequately studied) potential side effects of synthetic hormones, or increased risk of zinc deficiency from too much copper in the case of the non-hormonal IUD.

I don’t get any bad side effects, why not just take the pill?

Did you know the pill actually induces a kind if pseudo state of menopause in your body?

Sorry to say but you’re not regulating your period (huge myth), you’re actually suppressing your body’s natural cycle from occurring using synthetic versions of the hormones naturally produced by your body. You’re preventing ovulation from happening, ever.

The problem is ovulation is not only good for making babies! Ovulation is beneficial for your overall health as well.

We don’t really know the long term effects of so much synthetic “estrogen” or “progesterone” in our systems; the pill has recently been linked to depression and breast cancer in scientific research.

Fun fact: there are body builders that take oral contraceptive pills to dope because they contain a synthetic version of testosterone.

Join me for a free workshop or drop me a line and we can discuss all of this further. Know thyself dears!

RESOURCES

Taking Charge of Your Fertility and Natural Birth Control Made Simple are two great books to start with.

There’s a ton of info on blogs but it’s not always reliable, so try to cross reference what you find out with at least three reputable sources.

Please feel free to message me with specific questions! Like why do women constantly get pregnant while breastfeeding when it’s supposed to be a form of natural birth control….

Talk soon.

Natural Birth Control basic flyer

Slow the F down

Right on the heels of international women’s day I have a message for all of us–

Slow the F down.

Seriously, you’ll be amazed at how much more sense your life can make when you take the time to really absorb what is happening to you.

Take that 5 minutes to breathe in the bathroom in the middle of your day.

Turn off your phone, computer and all the lights and sit beside a candle to drink a hot cup of tea.

Breathe in deeply right now and as you exhale close your eyes.

These things can seem like annoying nuisances– just another task to add to the laundry list of ‘To Do’s– but giving your self, and all of your internal systems, the time to rest like that is extremely beneficial.

Our most creative ideas happen in time of play or free flow.

If we spend all of our time cramming as many activities, tasks, and information into the time that we have… we end up losing out on our full potential as human beings.

To enjoy our lives.

To feel peaceful.

To really reflect on how we are choosing to live our lives– what we feel like celebrating, what we want to improve, and what we want to correct.

As the saying goes, when you rush you’re only putting yourself further behind…

Take a minute to meditate on that.

You may be wondering, “What is a doula?”

Or for that matter, what is a midwife? And where do babies come from anyway?

Even though we are all born, it’s uncommon for the average person to know very much about birth.

We all know it takes 9 months, that it can be very painful, and you need a doctor or someone with a lot of knowledge to help you… but that may be about it.

Unfortunately not many people know that birth can also be wildly empowering, midwives are free in Ontario, or how to tell the difference between early and active labour.

You actually have a lot of options when it comes to how you give birth!

Overall, there’s a lot of information out there and a lot of it tends to be contradictory, meaning you might hear a million different answers to the same question, and end up feeling stressed and confused.

That’s where doulas come in.

A doula is a professionally trained person who supports women, partners and families during pregnancy, birth and postpartum (after you’ve had your baby).

Some doulas only offer labour & birth OR postpartum services.

Some, like me, offer both.

“Doula” in Greek means, “a woman who serves.”

Unlike midwives, who are medically trained in Canada through a 4-year university program to catch babies and deal with medical emergencies & complications in pregnancy and birth, doulas take on non-medical role.

The main description out there is that doulas provide ’emotional, physical and informational support,’ which sounds a little boring…. let me assure you, it’s not!

That emotional support could mean recognizing pregnancy is triggering you in a particular way, for example tension from past sexual trauma.

Your doula will help guide you through it, with good referrals, meditation sessions, or simply talking over a cup of tea.

That physical support could mean soothing massage for relaxation, acupressure, breathing techniques, managing the environment, hip compressions during labour, rebozo work, herbal padscicles… trust me there’s always more.

That informational support means you won’t have to spend hours online trying to find the most up-to-date, evidence-based knowledge for all your important decisions– because your doula already has access to this.

You also gain access to a network of birth professionals tried and tested by your doula, to receive professional referrals for your particular situation as it arises.

Ultimately, I believe a doula, as “someone who serves” is simply the person who is simply there for you, for whatever you are needing.

Many times I’ve heard from past beloveds that just having a person there who was 100 per cent dedicated to supporting them in their process was enormously comforting and encouraging.

This is someone so passionate about healthy birth they made it their job. It’s a life’s calling. Doulas want you to feel strong, free and supported.

“Doulas want you to feel strong, free and supported.”

Too often we hear stories of women who did not feel they had adequate support at this time– either during pregnancy, labour, in the weeks following when baby is born, or all of the above.

To find out more about hiring some to be with you through your passage through birth, please reach out to me today.

Even if I’m not the right birth keeper for you, maybe I know someone, and I’m happy to talk either way.

Book in with me for your free consult, or email me at mamastobeto@gmail.com today.

Doula in prayer pose — *serving women since 2015*

Giving birth can bring up sexual trauma… so what can we do?

26732876_10156505439446554_1862845918_o — Painting by Sido Surkis, Adriane Knorr’s momma

Every woman I have ever gotten to know, has a story of sexual abuse.

It could be date rape, it could be child molestation, it could be a series of events like your friend’s brother jabbing your butt with a fork while you’re in line for tea at church.

We all know this is a part of life for women, to deal with some form of sexual abuse at some point. What may be less commonly accepted, is that feelings associated with sexual trauma can resurface when a woman is going through pregnancy and giving birth.

“People, especially caregivers, need to understand that the connection exists. It’s really that simple.”

Adriane Knorr is a certified Birth Doula operating in Lane County, Oregon through her personal practice, The Beating Heart Doula, founded in February 2017.

Her 5-week web-based workshop, “Relight the Path,” provides training for birth workers to confidently deal with these issues with their clients, and provides a supportive forum for them to process their own sexual trauma.

Set for release January 19th, 2018, the workshop will be a series of live video lectures from at least three different instructors, covering topics such as prenatal yoga for feminine empowerment and getting your mind welcomed and prepared for birth.

Adriane told me more about the work she does and why you should care in the following Q&A. I’m really looking forward to taking her program.

What inspired you to create the “Relight the Path” workshop?

I myself am I survivor of sexual assault and have experienced severe referred pain in my pelvis that doctors have never been diagnose. My doctors have also never asked me about my abuse history. I believe there is an extremely strong connection between sexual assault and many “undiagnosable” disorders. In America, doctors are rarely trained to recognize this connection and their patients suffer.

As a birth worker, I’m also able to recognize how previous assault can manifest itself in pregnancy, labor and postpartum. Once again, a connection that is often missed.

I grew up with a mom who worked in domestic violence and I had the privilege of learning so much from her. She has hosted many conferences and is using her knowledge to better those around her.

With her encouragement that I can help change the lives of others and with my knowledge of assault and birth work grew this new program!

Why is this program so important?

Sexual assault is such a prevalent issue and there are rarely avenues for healing as this is such a stigmatized topic. In order to lower our assault statistics, we need to start talking and teaching. The more information we have out there to promote healing, the more women will begin to trust their bodies again and raise conscious children. It’s time to stop the cycle of abuse and bring about a new era where every human being knows how to respond to “no”.

What is the main thing people need to understand about the connection between birth and sexual trauma?

People, especially caregivers, need to understand that the connection exists. It’s really that simple. They need to be able to recognize symptoms of sexual trauma and know how to communicate effectively with their clients/patients to bring about healing. So often, women just want to be heard. Telling your story is such an incredible part of healing and caregivers need to know how to listen and comment effectively when a woman does choose to disclose her story.

How widespread is sexual trauma in your experience among clients and also among birth workers themselves?

I have had so many people, especially doulas, reach out to me after hearing about the workshop to tell me how they were sexually assaulted and how that eventually led them to pursue birth work. It takes a lot of chutzpah to disclose your history of abuse and most clients will only do so when they feel you are completely trustworthy. That being said, I have had a few of my clients tell me their stories right off the bat. Others only told me after I began to notice symptoms and eventually I brought the topic up with them.

Do you intend for your program to personally benefit birth workers who have suffered from sexual trauma?

I do. There is a portion of this workshop devoted to helping birth workers come to terms with their own abuse. This is a process that must be done before they can truly communicate help to their own clients/patients.

Overall, what do you hope to achieve?

I recognize that I am only one person and can’t change the whole world all by myself, but I believe I can help. The best way to help the world is to have as many people as possible trained to heal. My goal with this workshop is to help initiate that process.

Adriane Knorr – The Beating Heart Doula

Adriane’s passion is helping women to understand their emotions as well as their incredible strength. Adriane believes in bringing personal experiences into her work to provide real world experiences for all. She has been published by the University of Oregon, Oregon State University, and Gonzaga University for her work with Gendered Perceptions and Emotions of Intercourse and Trauma. In her free time she enjoys getting out into nature to explore wilderness trails, kayak through the waters, and training for half marathons.

To take part in the workshop or simply learn more, visit thebeatingheartdoula.com.

Some Resources:
9 Resources for sexual assault survivors you should know about
Canadian Resource Center for Victims of Crime - Support for Women

6 Gift Ideas to catapult you to expert giving status

If you’re nothing like my great grandmother, you like giving really high quality, practical gifts to people you know they are going to use.

Here is a helpful list of useful, beautiful gifts for people that could actually improve their life– rather than just become guilt-ridden clutter on a shelf somewhere.

1. Dried Sage

Smudging is such a wonderful way to take responsibility for your energy in the world by routinely clearing what is not needed and setting new intentions.

Scientists have also recently found that burning medicinal herbs such as sage can remove up to 97% of the bacteria in the air in a closed space.

Give this gift with some specialty matches and a nice little bowl or shell for safe burning.

2. Natural Soap

You can get natural soaps, meaning with no added chemicals or harmful preservatives, at pretty much any health food store around. I love the argan-based suds from Earth to Body, and I also swear by Black Soap.

Black soap is made of all natural oils & ingredients to clean your skin without stripping it of it’s nutrients. I use Mamas Life because they’re made locally and have proven to be enjoyably consistent! Plus I like the gold packaging.

Black Soap Ingredients: Roasted plantain skin, cocoa pod, palm kernel oil, coconut oil, palm oil.

3. Twinkle Lights

I believe twinkle lights are a great gift for any occasion, who doesn’t love good lighting.

You’d be surprised how good they can make an average space look and feel, not to mention the people in those spaces. Pair with a plug doubler to maximize practicality! 🙂

4. Black Seed Oil

Black seed oil, otherwise known as cumin seed oil, is an incredible health tool in this day and age. Research shows it is an immune booster, aids with the absorption of nutrients into the body, and so much more. It basically fights cancer. It’s amazing.

Take about a teaspoon ON AN EMPTY STOMACH and hold under your tongue 30+ seconds before swallowing for best results. It will mix in with your saliva and make you feel calm. Before bed or first thing in the morning are best times.

If that grosses you out, black seed oil is also an excellent, antibacterial moisturizer. It is said to have been the oil Jesus used to clean Mary Magdalene’s feet.

Cold-pressed oil straight from Jordan available for purchase at Veggie D’Light. 160 Baldwin, TO.

On that note… there are MANY types of oil that make great gifts.

5. Buckwheat Pillow

Said to be good for your posture, sleep, help relieve muscle tension and are hypo-allergenic. Might even make your partner stop snoring so loudly.

I recommend going with a full size, as I got the therapeutic ones that are longer and skinnier, but wish I had gone with the bigger one to be able to rest my entire face and head. Still love them!

They also make nice weights for when you’re working out of your bed and don’t want the computer rays to get through to your body……

Available online from Harvest Pillows.

6. Thermal Leggings

Coming from Saskatchewan, I think it’s hilarious that Toronto claims the slogan, “We The North.” I have to say though that this city has an incredibly tumultuous and nastily humid climate.

For that reason, I have been wearing thermal leggings as an under-layer since September (it is now winter). The day I did not was the day I got sick. Lesson learned.

Pass this wisdom onto friends with really soft, comfy, warm under-leggings!

Go Canada! Happy gifting!

5 quick things to do before guests arrive to make your house look clean

If you’re not like me and jet-setting all over the place to see your loved ones, you may very well have to receive some people at your own home.

Here are some tips to make that an enjoyable experience!

1. Sweep.

I know this may seem like actual cleaning instead of some magical trick that takes no effort at all, but it’s amazing what a dust-and-debris-free floor does for your house. Just do it, and if you have kids get them involved! This household pretend play toddler cleaning set was always a favorite at day care.

2. Throw away all the bathroom products you don’t use.

If you’re like most people I know, chances are you have a bin of half-used shampoo, cosmetic samples, and old cream that no one is sure ever goes bad under your sink or on top of a cabinet somewhere. Throw them all away. Please. You will be amazed at the immediate sense of accomplishment you feel. Take a page out of Marie Kundo and thank those containers all the way to the recycling bin. And while you’re in the bathroom, toss all the dirty towels in the wash and roll up some towelettes. (You could even place them in that now empty bin, 😉 tadaa!)

3. Pull out some old photo albums and leave them on the living room table.

Especially for family, this is a fun way to make sitting around feel more like an activity, and gets the old folks to feel good about sharing their stories with the younger generation. Nothing like a nice stroll down memory lane, from the comfort of a cozy couch. (How is this related to cleaning? This gives you extra time to tidy the kitchen!)

4. Have a lot of easy appetizers ready to go so that the pressure is off for dinner.

Plan ahead and stock up on antipasto dips, veggies and crackers when you’re at the farmers market. Then whip out your nicest serving platter and some biodegradable paper napkins. Voilà, a dishes-free feast for all that means no more rushing to have dinner up.

5. Don’t worry!

The best thing for you to do before guests arrive is to relax. There’s an open diaper on the table? You haven’t had a shower yet that day? So what! Do what you need to do to make it a comfortable space and include your visitors in the household rhythm with good humour. If they can’t roll with that then think about simply moving on with your life and not inviting them back… or hiring a professional to assist you next time.

Some easy alternatives to alcohol after work

We all know how normal it is to unwind with alcohol after a long workday. In fact, it’s often celebrated.

We also all know the only reason it makes us feel better is because it numbs our ability to feel at all, even if it’s just a little bit.

I was inspired to quit drinking regularly when I first watched what I call ‘The Vulnerability Ted Talk.’ I started with no alcohol for 30 days, cold turkey, and it transformed the way I saw myself and the people in my life.

Here are some easy drinks you can make to maintain the after work ritual while kicking the alcohol habit, possibly ushering in a new era of clarity to your life.

1. Sour Virgin

Okay I get it, a sour virgin may not sound appealing to some of you. But this lovely concoction, a take on the classic Mimosa, is my personal favorite.

Mix some organic orange juice with a splash of apple cider vinegar and your choice of sparkling water. Serve cool in a champagne flute! You can still feel fancy without getting tipsy.

Variations I have enjoyed include adding cooled teas such as chamomile or Nerval Tonic Tea from Flora, complexifys the flavor and increases health benefits.

2. The Tranquilizer

This one is really simple: hot tea of your choice with a little splash of black seed oil.

Mix ginko leaves with fresh ginger for a soothing and mind sharpening pick-me-up, but any herbal tea of your choice will do.

Take ten minutes to sit down and do nothing but drink this tea, then take 10 more minutes to bask in the glory of how nice you feel.

If you didn’t accidentally fall asleep, get up now and methodically clean your bathroom or read that next chapter.. this immune boosting, cancer preventing brew does not play!

3. Activating Circulation Cleanser

All you need for this one is some pineapple juice, a teaspoon of ashwagandha powder and some 100 per cent pure cranberry juice. Adjust proportions and add sparkling water to taste.

Great if you still have a lot to do for the night but beware, if you’re close to bedtime, ashwagandha tends to inhibit sleepiness.

Remember, enjoy responsibly!